My Beautiful Bipolar Mind

Trying to Get It Right We all have those moments after a social gathering where we replay conversations in our heads, wondering how we came across. For me, it’s often the realisation that I’m not the most talkative or outwardly friendly person in the room. I’ve been told I have a “resting b face” that doesn’t exactly scream approachable, and sometimes I worry that people judge me before I even open my mouth. The hard part is, they’re not always wrong. I can be blunt, even unpleasant at times, without meaning to be. It’s not that I want to be mean. In fact, I wish I were more of a “people person.” I watch others, like Adrian, glide through conversations with ease, making everyone feel seen and valued. Meanwhile, I imagine people leaving the room thinking, “He’s so nice… why is he with her?” But here’s the thing, trying to get it right socially isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about finding small ways to soften the edges without losing who I am. Small Shifts That Make a Big Differ...

The Last Push Before the Pause This year has been long. Not just in days, but in the sheer drama each one insisted on carrying. It’s been a year of showing up even when we were tired, of doing what needed to be done, and of holding things together. There were endless plot twists and way too many hospital waiting rooms, not to mention my anxiety and mania flaring up, my poor bipolar couldn’t keep pace with everything, no matter how many pep talks I gave it. Yet, here I am, still standing and laughing at the absurdity of it all. For me, it’s been another year of medical appointments, scans, check-ups, and second opinions. I had a lumpectomy earlier this year. The recovery was… let’s just say “uncomfortable” is the polite word. It brought nausea, pain and very light sleep. Then came the biopsy results, unexpected, startling, and a little heavier than I’d prepared for. Cue more decisions, more conversations, and medication with very bad side effects, which were not just uncomfortable, bu...