My Beautiful Bipolar Mind

The Spiral No One Sees - The Moments That Unmake Me I’m in a Spiral Right Now I’m in a spiral at the moment, not the cute, poetic kind, not the “bit of a wobble” kind, and definitely not the kind people imagine when they hear the word. When I say I’m spiraling, people often think I mean I’m a little sad, a little moody, maybe overwhelmed, and that with the right mindset or a good night’s sleep, I’ll just snap out of it. If only it worked like that. What I’m in right now is the kind of spiral that takes over your whole body and mind. The kind that makes you feel physically sick, emotionally raw, and mentally unanchored. The kind where you can’t quite tell where you end and the symptoms begin. People talk about bipolar disorder like it’s a tidy set of highs and lows, but spiraling is something else entirely. It’s messy. It’s loud. It’s consuming. And right now, it feels like it’s swallowing me whole. It’s Not Just Emotional — It’s Physical That spiral in my chest feels like a...

A Conversation With My Son When Michael's Faith Stirred Something Quiet in Me People who know me well know that I’ve always identified as agnostic. Not because I’m defiant or dismissive, but because I’m simply… not sure. Science and religion both offer compelling arguments, and I’ve never felt fully convinced by either side. My mind is full of questions, big ones, small ones, the kind that loop back on themselves, and with so much uncertainty, I’ve never been able to commit wholeheartedly to any belief system. So, I’ve lived my life in the most grounded way I know, by being a good human, by loving others, caring deeply, doing what’s right, and trying to be the best version of myself. I’m grateful that I know the difference between right and wrong, and I try to let that guide me more than anything else. But this morning, something unexpected happened. I had one of the most enlightening, beautiful conversations with my son, Michael. The kind of conversation that doesn’t just s...

When Your Husband Travels: The Chaos, the Competence, and the Quiet Strength You Don’t Always Admit Out Loud There’s a very specific version of yourself that shows up when your husband travels. She’s capable, organised, tougher than she looks, and also one minor inconvenience away from whisper‑scream into a pillow. It’s a rhythm you didn’t choose, but one you’ve learned to dance to with grit, humour, and sheer determination. Honestly? If something is going to go wrong, it will always choose the exact moment he’s away. Not before, not after, not when he’s sitting right there on the couch. No, life waits for him to be out of cell range in the middle of nowhere or boarding a plane to some country you've never heard of, and then it strikes. A burst pipe, a sick child, a business crisis, a student assignment due tomorrow that no one mentioned, sports practice that suddenly needs lifts, a dog with opinions or a car making a noise it has never made before. His trips seem to...

From the Bush to the New Year Holidays: The Great Human Personality Test Holidays are funny things. You pack your bags expecting rest, adventure, and maybe a tan… and instead you get a front‑row seat to the full spectrum of human behaviour. It’s like nature’s way of saying, “Surprise! Here’s who people really are when you remove the office, the routine, and the Wi‑Fi that only works if you stand on one leg.” Some people soften beautifully. They laugh more, breathe deeper, and suddenly remember how to be patient in queues longer than the Great Wall of China. You see strangers helping each other, families reconnecting, and everyone collectively admiring sunsets like they’ve never seen the sky before. And then… there are the others. The ones who behave like the holiday was personally handcrafted for them by the universe. The ones who forget that everyone else also paid money to be there. The ones who treat viewpoints like limited‑edition collectables and refuse to share. It’s no...